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Day 48

Wednesday, March 22, 2000

The other day I forgot to mention a guard that I hadn't seen before. this was when Jim and Stacy were still in the hole with Rocky, Clarence and I. Everyone calls him "GIJOE". GIJOE thinks he's in the Marines. He tries to act like the drill sergeant from Full Metal Jacket. He throws the biggest yelling fits over absolutely nothing at all. Personally, I find him amusing.

One day, he came in to find that the shower was on and nobody was in it. We do this because they keep the heat on in our little 17x13 foot cell and it gets so hot we can hardly stand it. No matter what we say or do, there's nobody that can or will do anything about it. So we turn on the cold water in the shower to cool it off. GIJOE came in raising hell, yelling in his best drill sergeant's voice. I don't remember exactly what his words were, but they were pretyty pointless and rediculous. Of course, Rocky said something smart to him, which set him off further. Then he exited the cell and SLAMMED the door as hard as he could. That doorhas been slammed in our door plenty of times, but this guy nearly took it off its big metal hinges, or so it seemed.

Lying in my bunk, I thought to myself,"SOMEBODY hasn't had any in a while."

So here we are today, sleeping another day away as usual, sometime between breakfast and lunch. In comes GIJOE. He was yelling before he even knew he had anything to yell about. "Goddamnit! I told you motherfuckers not to turn on this damned shower!Do you hear me?" As if planned, we all lay perfectly still in out bunks, ignoring him. He turned off the shower with a vengance. Our silence infuriated him. He picked up one of the stools we sit on at the table and slammed it back down on the floor and added,"I'M TALKING TO YOU!!!" We didn't budge. He kicked the stool across the room like a four year old throwing a temper tantrum. For a supposed military man, he sure does act like a baby. Regardless, we looked at him this time, and Rocky didn't even smart off or anything, which seemed to surprise GIJOE as much as it did me. Looking as if he were about to pop a blood vessle, he left with his signature slam of the door. We all had a good laugh as we went back to sleep.

Lunch came and we all got up and ate. It was hot dogs, and they weren't very good. After eating, Rocky went to use the toilet ans to his surprise, the tank didn't refill after he flushed. HE tried the sink. Nothing. She shower was the same. Rocky was livid. He went rto the door and started banging. GIJOE was standing downstairs ignoring him. Rocky banged louder and began to yell through the door. He looked up, then looked away. Rocky continued to bang, now yelling,"Hey motherfucker! Turn on our damn water!"

"Don't make me come up there!" GIJOE yelled back.

"You BETTER bring your ass up here you sissy BITCH!!
Needless to say, GIJOE began to climb the stairs to the catwalk and over to our cell. I was still sitting at the table trying to stomach my far-below-average macaroni salad when he jerked open the cell door, already cussing Rocky. He charged up to Rocky cussing like a madman, asking why he was banging on the door.

"I want to know why we don't have no fucking water," Rocky replied. GIJoe explained, with much profanity, that the water was off in the entire building due to construction. Suddenly I realized that I should have thought of it. The look on Rocky's face told me he felt the same. However, still being cussed by GIJOE, Rocky continued to exchange vulgarity at an impressive rate. Finally, GIJOE demanded Rocky's wristband. Rocky complied, and said," You can HAVE it, you SISSY BITCH!!" and GIJOE left with a slam.

A few minutes later, he returned smiling sarcastically, STILL cussing at Rocky. As he left, he called Rocky a "Black Ass Motherfucker." Despite this obviously racist remark, Rocky calmed down, stating that since he gets out tomorrow, there's not a DAMN thing GIJoe can do to him. Shortly thereafter, we could hear other inmates talking about GIJOE's racist comment. Several seemed offended, which doesn't surprise me. He yelled it loud enough to be heard throughout the 200 man population.

Now don't get me wrong, I have nothing against our armed forces and the brave men and women who work hard in them everyday, ready to defend our country at a moment's notice. I fully respect their positions from the new recruit in the army to the decorated war veteran. But in every bunch of apples there's a bad one. If GIJOE was in fact a Marine at one time, then I can respect his decision to join, but because he's such a pompus ass, I refuse to respect him as a man. In other words, Fuck Him. I'm not a Marine, and he's not my sergeant, so he can drop all the military bullshit, as far as I'M concerned. He's just another guard, and I'm just another inmate. His job is to make sure I son't leave or start trouble, so as long as I'm a good boy, he can kiss my ass.

I wonder why he acts like that. If he wants to be a drill sergeant so bad, why isn't he still a Marine? Did they kick him out? Was he a Section 8? Is he a closet homosexual? Maybe he never was in any branch of service at all. I have no evidence to show that he ever WAS in the service, it's just an educated guess. Maybe he's just living out a lifelong fantasy based on GIJOE toys and too many war movies. Maybe the position of guard makes him feel superior to us inmates, the way a drill sergeant is superior to the new recruits. Maybe its a simple case of penis envy. E.D. afects lots of men his age, you know.

OK, I've fumed my rage for the day. MaybeI'm so pissed because I haven't seen daylight in five days. That tends to suck after a while. At least we've been getting to go out into the big room every night. As I said before, if we don't get to go outside, they have to let us out for an hour on the third shift to let us exercise. We have proof of this in the form of a grievance reply letter from the chief. Not the guard, not the Sergeant, not the Leutennant, but the CHIEF. I'll admit, we get a kick out of telling the guards that they HAVE to let us out, not because WE said so, but because the CHIEF said so. Some are cool about it, and let us out. Some are reluctant and make us wait a while because we hurt their pride by actually having a little bit of power.

There are three cells that are designated at disciplinary cells, or "The Hole". All three should be let out at night, but sometimes they only let us out because we're the only ones who persistantly ask to be let out. Maybe we're the only ones that know we have a RIGHT to be let out, and therefore we're the only ones that get pissed when that right is taken away. Last night, we were the only cell taken out.

While we were out, I met another guard. This one I like. I'll cell her "Flo", as in the waitress from the sitcom Alice. Flo was talking to us last night about nothing in perticular, then she got on the subject of how guards and inmates act toward each other. She kept telling Rocky that his mouth would get his ass in trouble. He agreed with her and et it go at that. We walked a while, talked to her a while, and in the end, as we were being locked back up in our hole, he told her to have a nice evening, using the respect she convinced him to try for a while.

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