Then I asked her if she could please drop a letter off in the outgoing mail slot. Her response was that she didn't touch inmates' mail. I guess the bitch is too good to touch my mail, but obviously not my book. Later I asked the other guard (the one who brought us a mop) if he'd drop it off for me. He said he wasn't supposed to; that I'd have to do it myself. I pointed out to him the impossibility of me reaching the mail drop box from my cell, considering they are separated by a flight of stairs and roughly 30 yards. He looked around and took the envelope. I watched as he walked down stairs and dropped it in the box of outgoing mail.

Outside Rec was fun today. To our delight, we were taken out by both Chief AND Miss Joy. There were only five of us out there, and I was the only one from our hole. Three stayed in bed and one was in court. I spent most of my rec time just sitting there. Sure I walked a few laps, but after a while I just sat and enjoyed the sunshine. It's been getting alot warmer lately. Everyone's been getting anxious to get out. Not just out of the hole, but OUT. Stacey gets out tonight. Africa (who's name is Jim) gets out of the Hole in four days. Rockys out in 9 days. I'm out in twelve, and our other cellmate stays longer than I do.

The guards have been mostly pleasant today, no big problems to speak of. They brought us cleaning supplies again this evening, which is a stop in the right direction, despite the gaping hole in the wall. Well, you can't have everything.

One of our topics of discussion today led to food. This subject always gets out of hand as each person talks about what they're going to eat when they get out of here. Pizza was a dreaded favorite until someone brought up being released in the middle of the night. Then it was Krispy Kreme doughnuts, then a Nacho Cheese Chalupa from Taco Bell, then spicy chicken wings, Outback Steak, liver and onions, cornbread, then Ryans buffet. The list went on and on.

The one thing everyone agreed on is "ghetto dope", which is a jailhouse cullinary classic. You take two grab bags of spicy hot Cheetos, and crunch them up nearly to crumbs. Then you add diced up spicy meat snack, like a Slim Jim, and some jalepeno cheddar cheese spread, like the Frito Lay Jalapeno Cheese Dip. Mix all ingredients together and spread on some sort of cracker. In here we use saltines, but it was agreed that outside one would prefer a Ritz. Mmmm.

Personally, I'm going to make my spicy chicken wings. Here's what I plan to do. First you start with some FRESH canola oil. Oil that has been used a bunch of times makes the wings taste funky. Then I get about 40 wing pieces. I usually use fresh ones and cut them myself, but there's a bag of frozen ones in the freezer, so I'll use those. Those'll have to thaw. During that time I'll start the sauce. I melt four tablespoons of butter (not margarine - REAL butter) in a small saucepan. Then I add one small bottle of hot sauce, whatever brand you prefer. Then I stir to mix the butter and sauce. Reduce heat to let it simmer, add one teaspoon of distilled white vinegar, then I add cayenne pepper, salt, coursely ground black pepper and a few other select seasonings to taste. I let this simmer and thicken, stirring occasionally. Then I deep fry my wings ten at a time (I have a small fryer). I toss them in some sauce and put them on a baking tray and put them in the oven, which is turned on just to keep them warm (about 200º). I repeat until I have all the wings cooked and rolled in sauce. Then I spread them out on the pan, kick the oven on broil for about 30 seconds to a minute to crisp but not burn, Toss them in sauce again and eat. Serve with chunky bleu cheese and celery and PLENTY of paper towels.

You can use any brand of bleu cheese dressing you like. I make my own homemade, but I can't remember the ingredients right now. Damn tasty, though.

WHEW! Well, I just finished a healthy workout with Rocky and our other cellmate, whom I only know as "G". I've been doing push-ups and pull-ups for some time, although not as often as I'd like. Tonight we added some free weights. We filled three rubber gloves with water almost to the bursting point. We tied them off and put them in a laundry bag. We then proceeded to do a variety of lifting exercises, like one and two-handed curls, behind the head lifts, and some other kinds of lifting that I'm sure have proper names but I have no idea what they might be. Top off the night with five sets of ten "diamond" pushups, or "military style" pushups, and fifty crunches and I'm set. My muscles in my arms and upper body feel swolen like they're going to explode. I can visibly tell they're not, but they feel about twice their normal size. I love that good healthy burn.

Well, as I said before, Stacy is supposed to go home tonight. He went to court this morning and the judge declaired him a free man. Well, it's probably about 9:30 PM by now and Stacy is still right here in the hole. The guards keep saying nobody told them to release him, and until they do, he's not going anywhere. Typical. He's been a free man for nearly twelve hours and he's no closer to freedom than Jim, G, Rocky or myself.

Well, Rocky (the Inmate formerly known as OX) has officially declaired me his dominos partner. We are so far undefeated as a team. We play so that the loser does twenty pushups. He says he likes my style because I'm Ice Cold when we play. I never "talk shit", and nobody can guess if my hand is good or bad. I'm the same way with cards, but they took our cards away. I guess they're just not used to someone being stone silent when playing. They are all so busy talking shit that they underestimate me until it's too late.

In addition to knowing his name, I've learned a little more about Rocky since I've been in here. He's originally in for child support, but got six months for contempt of court. He called his baby's mother a bitch in court and then when the judge told him something he already knew, he replied, "I ain't tryin' to hear that shit!" Voila, six months. Then he lost work release for hitting another inmate, and now he's in the hole with me. He, too, has a little girl. He gets out two days before me.

It's amazing what you find out in jail.

Previous | Next

Return to Jailbird Journal INDEX.