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Day 11

Monday, Febuary 14, 2000

4:00 AM. Breakfast. Sucked. I looked at the clock and it is reading 5:00 AM now. I have to leave this building to go to work at 7:30 AM. I figure I need to leave the dorm to get ready at about 7:15. that's two hours, fifteen minutes away. I know if I go back to sleep I'll never get up. So I guess I get to stay up, which is going to be a pain in the ass considering I couldn't get to sleep last night and only got hbout 3 hours of sleep. Normally I'd listen to the Bob and Tom radio show in the meantime, but for right now, I don't have a radio.

Well, they just turned off the lights to let everyone go back to sleep. that is great for everyone except me. It will make it difficult to both stay awake AND write. It sucks that they wake you up between four and five, then turn all the lights off and insist you remain in your bunk. If I fall asleep, I'll NEVER get up in time to go to work.

OK, afte4r conversing with some of my esteemed cohorts, the time I have to leave for the front of the building is 6:20 AM. I AM allowed to sit in the commons area where the lights are on until that time if I so desire, so as you probably guessed, that's where I am right now. Why 6:20? I don't know. That's the rule. It doesn't have to make sense. At 6:20 I go to the front, dress in street clothes, wait until 7:30, then leave. Here I go...

Ahhhh! What a breath of fresh air!! I walked out the door at 7:30 this morning, back in at 6:30 pm. Eleven hours out of here! To get eight hours of sleep, I should go to bed at 8 PM, which is right about now, but that could seroiusly screw up my sleeping schedule for when I get out of here for good.I can't be going to bed an hour and a half before my two year old!

And speaking of, what a sight for sore eyes! I walked out of work to find my wife and daughters waiting in the car for me. Without hesitation, I yanked open the back door, unbuckled the child restraints, and pulled my two year old from the car and into my arms. Her little arms wrapped tightly around my neck as I lifted her up. "Daddy's here! Daddy's Here!!"she kept saying with excitement. Tears welled up in my eyes but didn't flow. I missed her SO much. I miss my wife and newborn daughter, too, but my two year old and I have some kind of special connection. It's like a melding of emotions and telekenesis, as if our sould were connected by an invisible yet tangible link that never severs. My wife says she's a miniature me, so thank's in part to Austin Powers, she responds when I call her "Mini Me".

I told her I had to go away again, that I could only be with her for the one hour commute back to where I was staying. she replied, "No Daddy! Give big hugs at HOME, too!!" Once again, I nearly cried.

We stopped in the parking lot of a Sam's Club on the way back to the Big House, and we got out of the car for me to hold my newborn a minute or two, then play for a while with the toddler. My newborn woke up as I pulled her from the warm car seat to the cold night air, and she opened her eyes and looked into my face, as if to say, "Where ya been? And hey, IT'S FREEZIN' OUT HERE!!!" After a couple minutes of talking to her so she could hear my voice, I put her back in the car and grabbed Mini Me. She hugged my neck and told me about what she and Pooh Bear had been doing, playing Candy Land and such, all the things we used to do together when I was home. It kills me to be away from them, but it won't be long, I keep telling myself.

Well, I got days 1 through 3 done, and revamped the index page of this journal. For anyone in the diarst community still trying to figure out which other journal I do, I'm running my entry from a couple days ago in my other journal as well. Since it's all about my father and doesn't mention being in jail, I figured it'd be safe to run it. If you find it, you'll know the identity of Inmate #N508853, as if you really care. Trust me, it's really no big deal.

My wife brought me some house information today for me to look at. There's several good ones, but one that REALLY stands out and grabs my attention. I don't to get too worked up about it, since things usually fall apart when I get too excited about something, but it sounds good so far. My parent's looked at it and say it looks REALLY nice.

A co-worker is picking me up in the morning. I'll throw him some gas money, but I still need to find someone to drive me on Thursday. Think, man, THINK!! Otherwise I'll have to take a friggin cab to work. That'll suck. Oh well. I'll figure it out at WORK tomorrow!!

Well, I THOUGHT I was finished for the night, but I got some news SO good, I couldn't help but write, because I KNOW I couldn't sleep right now. there;s this program called DRC, or Day Release Center, in which I get released after half my sentence. I know I already mentioned it, but it turns out this place is SO overcrowded, they need to let some of us go to make room for the more deserving rapists and murderers.

Here's the sweet part, I can live at home and DRIVE to work again! that means I can go to my hometown for that interview!! In return I have to go to a building downtown twice a week, one hour after work. One dai I piss test, the other I watch a film or go to a class or meeting or some shit. If this works out, I could get out of jail, have my job and house back home, finish any unfinished business, and be moving back by April 1. And wouldn't that be GREAT!?!?!?! I think so!

Today was cloudy, but I see sunshiny days ahead!

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